fail.

uugghhh...FAIL. [long rant.]
idk…i’m still utterly confused about everything. but i’m pretty much not going to question anything anymore. just take each day as it comes. lucian hasnt said ANYTHING derogatory to me yet…and we’ve been talking on myspace and texting and everything. he asked me out to lunch today there’s no way i’m getting out of the house except for work. [driving went well this morning tho.] and i mean…i wouldnt go out with him anyway. he’s fuckin almost 10 years older than me. FAIL. my sister, dustan, patrick AND leah all think we should date. but noooo…WHY can’t he be just a BIT younger??? and not drink. i hate that. and y’all ALL know why i hate drinking. ugh…fail…FAIL FAIL FAILLLL. =/

i dont even know what to think about the other two things i’m confused about. =/ i guess just take that day by day too.

as for the one at work, steven says i can shoot for so much better. and he’s right. but *sigh* steven…why do you have to be gay?? haha…tho, i wouldnt have it any other way. <3 u brother. :)

but uggghhh…idk, im still exorbently distraught over everything. school needs to hurry up and start in the fall so i can have something remotely important to concentrate on. [and no, i havent forgotten about reading. i just think too much into other shit that i get pre-occupied with that and brush to the side the fact that i could be doing something worth-while....i FAIL.]

speaking of school…i need to get back up to ODU sometime this week. or next week. just have to renew my parking pass, find out what books i need for next semester and obtain them, as well as get all the proper supplies…but i guess that wont really happen until i have the classes syllabi.

i'm not getting a busch gardens pass this year. i'm doing the responsible thing and putting school before fun. im saving up for books as opposed to going to b/g like crystal and edric keep bugging me about. and i'm very proud of myself for saving my money...it'll pay off in the long run, and it makes me one more small step towards reaching my ultimate goal.

thursday thru wednesday of next week, i’ll be driving a different car. [which is also an antique, but the windows on the passenger side dont roll down, and it’s even MORE of a tank than the nova. so if i plan on going anywhere besides work and karate, i can expect to get complaints from whomever is in the passenger seat. haha.] FAIL! but it’s actually a nice car. [has a radio!] & i took it on the interstate today and felt more confident/comfortable in the new car than the nova. so i might actually be driving that more often since i like it.

annddd idk wtf i did, but i think i hit my nose or something, b/c it hurts really bad and my eyes are tearing up. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

fail...anyways, i dont have to be into work until 4:15…so i think ima take a nap before i jump in the shower.